If you laugh, you are definitely a Gooner...

Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of spurs players on them. But folks couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What have spurs and a three pin plug got in common?
A: Their both useless in Europe.

Q. Why do spurs fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A. So they know which end to wipe!

Q: What do you call a spurs fan with lots of girlfriends?
A: A goat herder.

Q: What do spurs fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead spurs fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

A policeman caught a fan climbing the wall of the spurs ground.
He made him go back and watch the rest of the match.

The fire brigade phones Martin Jol in the early hours of Sunday morning...
"Mr Jol sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries Jol.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."

There's a rumour that spurs have lined up a new sponsor - Tampax.
The board thought it was an appropriate change as the club is going through a very bad period.

And the ultimate one...

A Liverpool fan, an Arsenal fan and a Spurs fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Liverpool fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Liverpool fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Spurs fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: "Choice! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

The Arsenal fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Arsenal fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave. "The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Please tie the Spurs fan to my back."